For Those Who Stand in the Rain Because You Don’t Trust the Sun

Getting comfortable with being happy.

We believe pain and sadness without a second thought. When we’re hurting, we don’t question if it’s real. When someone does something to upset us, we don’t usually wait and see before allowing ourselves to feel that emotion.

Yet, when something good happens — when something is done to make us smile or bring us joy, we’re skeptical. We question the motive and wonder if it will last. We may allow ourselves to feel brief moments of joy or gratitude, but we’re often then waiting for the other shoe to drop. We move on to looking for the bad that we feel is sure to follow.

Under the guise of being realistic, we question everything positive that happens in our lives. We can meet a genuinely good, kind person of admirable integrity, and we’ll spend time searching for what’s wrong with them. We don’t believe it. We call them ‘too good to be true.’ And sometimes they are. That saying exists for a reason. But, sometimes they’re not. We engage in self-sabotage and block our own blessings out of an inability to simply accept them.

Disappointment is a beast of a heartache.

Maybe this is why we’re so hesitant to believe in the goodness that we see. We don’t want to get our hopes up only to be let down. The higher you go, the further and harder the fall. So, we keep our emotions at ground level.

Perhaps we’re just so used to the bad things happening that good things feel foreign. It’s difficult for us to even recognize let alone accept when something positive comes our way. Some of us have struggled through life. We’ve struggled with loss, unfortunate circumstances and heinous acts that have been committed against us. And it seems like just when we might catch a break, it all falls apart, again.

Negativity is accepted without reservation because it’s familiar.

Our minds, but especially our hearts remember the last person who did something we thought they’d never do. We remember that last time we hoped and worked for an achievement, only to fall short. We’ve been kicked while we were down and suffered unfair, unwarranted outcomes. We’re used to it raining on even our most modest parades.

At some point we submit to remaining in the storm because we’ve learned to navigate our way through. We’ve adapted to the conditions and know exactly what to expect. It may be cold, wet, and miserable, but at least it’s consistent.

We no longer trust fairer weather. It’s deceived us a time too many. We now view the good things as simple pit stops on the road to the bad. There is no reason to even try and get out of the rain, into the sun, because we don’t think it will last.

Maybe it will be short-lived. But we deserve whatever good comes our way, for however long it stays. We deserve happiness. Let’s not punish ourselves with constant darkness and apathy. If we only get five minutes in the sun today, let’s take our five minutes. Perhaps next time we’ll get 10.

Then hopefully, when it does inevitably rain again — we’ll only be left with flowers that serve to strengthen our appreciation for the better, brighter days.

Author of the critically acclaimed book on women and relationship status, “Single That.”

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