Hi. I agree. There are exceptions to every rule. That's why I mentioned that when behavior changes significantly, you should know that something is wrong. If the person is always inconsistent, it will just be more of the same. Mental health issues aside, the reason for the inconsitency doesn't change how hurtful and confusing it can be. I was focusing more on the effects here, not the intent, which is why I referenced that the person likely doesn't see their behavior as abusive. It's the "trait" that's considered toxic.

It's difficult to get comfortable with someone who's inconsistent (which can be by design) making it tough to ask questions and figure out why. In general, this applies to being consistently inconsistent, without extenuating circumstances.

I appreciate your feedback.