The holy grail of one’s being.
I trusted you with my time, believing it would not be wasted. In the physical, I trusted that you’d wait until I was comfortable — that you’d be attentive and thoughtful. I entrusted with you my possessions, friends and secrets. Always I knew that the most valuable thing you can offer someone is your vulnerability. So, I shielded this until you were proven trustworthy in all other areas, with matters far less fragile. Only then would I let you see it.
And when I did, finally set myself free, you were unmoved. Perhaps you preferred me guarded? That way, we could continue to exist on the surface of things and not be immersed in a journey more profound. You didn’t recognize my vulnerability as the rare indulgence that it is. Scoffed at it, even. Spit in its face with your sudden arrogant indifference.
And here I deemed you worthy.
You grew tired of its truth and disregarded its virtue. Longing for protection, my vulnerability went uncared for. It was dropped off in the worst part of town while resting, only to look up and see your taillights in the distance. How could you treat it so carelessly knowing what it went through to emerge? You left it there, dying.
So, I tucked it away again when no one was watching, without fanfare or protest. It awaits the next potential suitor. Though i’m fully aware that they also may be equipped to properly handle everything that I have to give, except this.
But what else am I to do?
Vulnerability is essential to meaningful human connection, for one to be seen and ultimately, truly, loved. So, someday I’ll drag it out despite the fight, dust it off, lick its wounds and put it on display proudly, once again. Perhaps this time it will be greeted by the vulnerability of another — and invited to stay.