But for Now…
Today I remembered that I am enough. So, I will set about my day as such and hope it carries me into night.
I’ll hang out with friends. Perhaps we’ll see a movie or have drinks. Maybe both. We’ll laugh and reminisce. The time will pass quickly for a change, instead of holding my thoughts hostage with its deliberate tics and tocs.
I’ll seek out others to fill the void left in your absence. I’ll smile and feel pretty. They will be astounded by my brilliance — enthralled by my wit. I won’t fret the possibility of it becoming more than casual engagement, because nothing more than this moment will be of concern.
I’ll see a movie and read a book, or otherwise occupy my waking hours.
I’ll admire the sun — Feel the warmth on my skin. I’ll listen to music and dance with shadows. I’ll drink wine until I feel as light as this burden of longing has become.
I’ll bask in the rightness of my decision to let go. It’s for the best, of which I am suddenly aware and accepting. I’ll cry tears of healing.
And when this day is done, I’ll climb into bed with a smile, and hug the sheets for protection. I’ll be satisfied.
Satisfied even knowing that when morning comes I’ll think of you again and wish for your presence.
Because today, I was free.
