I'm from Gary too! I think this mentality is even more prevalent in urban neighborhoods where your masculinity is frequently challenged and judged by your "street cred." A boyfriend I had used to harp on the idea that my little brother was soft, until he saw him fight. I guess he handled himself well enough to be deemed a "real man." It's sickening and saddening that these are the standards by which we measure boys.

Author of the critically acclaimed book on women and relationship status, “Single That.” https://www.amazon.com/dp/1687069786