A necessary struggle.
We struggle to forgive because it’s difficult to accept events that have taken place. We struggle to accept because we don’t understand. How could they? We need a reason for why someone did something we never thought they’d do. We want an explanation for them hurting us. Though even if obliged, no reason is ever good enough.
Mostly, we struggle to forgive because we associate doing so with saying, “it’s OK.”
We often feel as though forgiving someone is letting them off of the hook. We’re confused, angry and wounded. We want the offender to feel bad for making us feel worse. If we forgive them, they may feel better. So, we don’t.
How long will you punish yourself for what they did to you?
When we think of it this way it sounds silly — that we’d punish ourselves for the sins committed against us by another. But that’s exactly what we’re doing when we struggle to forgive. We’re not only holding on to pain, but adding to it.
Every time we refuse to let someone into our hearts because space is being occupied by this unresolved issue, we’re punishing ourselves. Every wall we build, every pleasure we deny ourselves, every crippling thought we think and any influence we allow past wrongs to have over our lives is…
