Too much was never enough.
She searched everywhere and in everyone. This girl, who already had love overflowing always wanted more. Not knowing her you’d think she’d been deprived. On the contrary, her parents, friends, children, colleagues, and family all blessed the day that she was born and would gladly worship at her feet. Yet, her appetite for adoration was insatiable. As was her desire to adore.
This yearning was not a one-sided endeavor. To love and be loved was the very fiber of her being. Without it, all else would be rendered unimportant. With it, much went overlooked.
She asked of romantic partners only one thing: Love Me. Never mind any red flags or reasons not to engage in such a profound intertwining. That she was loved is all that mattered. Love was believed to have been found in places that it did not exist. She made it so. She’d overestimate the quality of relationships, as well as the people to whom her attention and affection were given. She didn’t see flaws, danger, incompatibility or inauthenticity. She saw love. Hopeful, was her perception that often separated itself from reality.
There was enough love inside of her for all involved parties, and she’d wrap herself up in it so tightly that she’d be convinced the source was external.
For her it proved difficult to find purpose in dating or any encounter that did not result in love. It was not an idea to be discussed at some later moment in the journey. Love was the entire point of it all. Fun and the expansion of experience came secondary.
A gift, or a curse is it to love so freely and deeply that the depth is destined to go unmatched? To love to the point of inconvenience and detriment and not have it returned must certainly be numbing. The incessant craving for affection and reverence can be nothing short of exhausting. Yet, to her, it was worth it. The potential for love, the need, was always enough to warrant trying one more time — And always one more time.
I see her often and know her well. Eternally, I am amazed by how she can completely empty herself into another — and somehow still have love left to offer the next.