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We Should Declare Consistency the Sixth Love Language
If you’ve read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, then you know that the book nails it in terms of the various ways that we interpret love. It’s all-encompassing. Some of us need to be told that we’re loved with Words of Affirmation. Others need to be shown, whether through Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, or Quality Time. We may need a little of each but all likely favor one of these languages above the others in terms of what makes us feel cared for.
I think there’s another prominent love language, however. Often, at least for me, even if I’m being spoken to in my language, it will not resonate if it’s inconsistent. And when I’m not being spoken to in my language, if the manner in which a person is obviously trying to communicate their adoration for me is unwavering, I will recognize it. Consistency is a love language. Whatever you do, do it habitually and without loss of enthusiasm.
There is nothing I appreciate more than someone who regularly offers the version of themselves that ignited my initial interest. We all have bad days and varying moods, but you can’t be hot and cold and expect me to still feel the warmth. It doesn’t always have to be grand gestures and declarations, but there should be consistent traits. The message has to be regularly communicated, however it’s delivered.
My dominant love language is Acts of Service. I’m a “show before and above tell” kind of gal. Words carry no weight with me if not only supported by but lead with action. However, my need for consistency supersedes this. If the acts are sporadic, so will be my response. I can’t associate an infrequent experience with love.
I’ve had amazing first gestures during courtship. Someone I matched with on a dating site sent flowers to my job with a message inside to give him a call. Now, I didn’t know whether to be weirded out or flattered because I hadn’t met this guy yet or told him where I worked, but I chose the latter. I valued the effort. He did more before meeting me than many others had done during our entire relationship. But after about a week or two, things started to tail off. It’s possible that perhaps he wasn’t feeling the interest on my part, but ultimately, I believe anyone who draws that…
