Wow. This hit home for me. I was never sexually assaulted. But I’ve grown up viewing sex as merely about lust and only recently learning and making the conscious decision to accept that it can be much more. What helped me come to this realization was a book titled “Love, Freedom, Aloneness” by Osho. He talks about how there can be no romantic love without lust, and there is nothing inherently wrong with it. Highly suggested read if you haven’t!
Also, side note: I dated someone who always, every single time, made sure I climaxed before even focusing on his pleasure. And it was amazing. 😉