You’ll Get Your Happy Ending

Here’s how.

Be committed to outcome but flexible on path. We tend to believe that there are limited avenues to achieving most things, especially a sense of happiness and fulfillment. Such a mindset leads to our operating under pseudo deadlines and according to contrived blueprints — as though things have to happen exactly this way and during that timeframe in order to be relevant.

Just as possibilities are infinite, so are the various roads leading to them. But someone told us different. Someone told us that life is measured in predetermined steps, and if we do not follow them, if our course of existence runs outside the lines, something is wrong. The abstract is no less beautiful than the concrete. It’s definitely more unique, so possibly even more satisfying than the usual.

Maybe what we’ve been waiting on will happen for us today. Perhaps tomorrow. It may take some of us longer to get there than others, with more bumps in the road and detours along the way. The getting there is all that matters. Even if there turns out to be someplace other than we imagined. Our time can’t be measured by someone else’s watch. Nor can our direction be determined using another’s compass.

In the darkness of disappointment and frustration, it’s difficult to anticipate pending illumination. This makes it easy to fall into the trap of believing that we are further away from what we want than we are, because we can’t see it. We’re looking outside of ourselves, into the darkness which always appears boundless. If it’s dark enough, we can’t even see our own hands right in front of our faces. The night deceives us.

Remember that you are the light. Making our way out of darkness is a journey to the self, through the self. However, this is not an obscure concept. The idea is quite tangible. Focus on yourself, not what happens around you beyond your control. Prepare for those things you wish to bring to fruition. And if those things do not come, prepare to push forward with the alternative.

The premise here isn’t giving up on our dreams or settling for less than what we envision for ourselves. It is in the ability to appreciate where we are, and choosing to be happy wherever we end up. The goal should be autonomous, free from attachment to any particular person or set of circumstances.

If we can let go, stop trying so hard to manufacture happiness and just open ourselves up to receiving it, it will come. If we decide that whatever ending life gives us will be happy, because we’ve deemed it so, because our choosing results in authentic creation — Then happy it shall be.

Author of the critically acclaimed book on women and relationship status, “Single That.”

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